NOT Forever (I'm Back from the Break!)

"Tomorrow is closer. Today is here."

- Daniel Elijah Stewart

Hey, guys. What is up? I just got back from school that today is officially the establishment of summer break. Whew! I'm all caught up with the side notes and homework was just long, it chewed up my free time a lot like... ever. It was coffee that lowered my overall GPA, and it was the insanity that kept me laughing a lot at. My sister had just graduated from high school and is going to college next year. I cannot wait until she leaves us behind. Man, how will I miss her so much.

And you know what's more worse than that? I am officially graduating a year later than everyone else about the same age as mine since I will leave college with those who already had the gap year before being received bachelor's. I'm no educational fundie! Wah-wah... I'll end up having an associate's degree instead. My educational pace made no sense whatsoever when it comes to higher education itself due to the fact that I have to deal with all of the prerequisites of math and English and that I will not be able to go to another university after graduation. Sorry. My parents said that I will get a job instead, which is a big bummer and I don't wanna work outside the home. I have a self-employed business to run and will officially stick with the plan of my own for as long as it complies with the state law. Meaning I will never be able to have a boss, nor meet up with the co-workers. Instead, it was just me 100%. I am staying local and always will.

But then... it happened when one day, word found out that I was going to EWU @ BC in the year 2020 for children's studies or interdisciplinary studies degree. I was glad I get to be a mother one day I thought to myself since an advisor said I will teach small kids simple math. If I were to take children's studies, that means I will end up becoming a numerical instructor for early elementary and preschool kids of the next generation, which is a different route than what most professional applied mathematicians have gone through the years of training beyond Calculus, Statistics, and Math in Society combined. I am passing down the knowledge of what I knew as a child to the generation after me. I will be some elementary school teacher in a setting separate from what most have suffered after the events of the widespread homo agenda to grade schools. Idealistically, it is gonna be a private school and I will make lots of money from parents paying for the tuition I recommended. Boy, I will be a rich girl!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Moving on...

Searching for internships, I will do it once when I will be at the Alyssa Burnett Life Center until I find one for the application, interviewing, and hopefully acceptance. But the problem? I don't have long-term volunteering periods mom said. I knew I was too busy with my scheduling, though I was more of a hobby person and less dedicated to an entire community. Man, I was selfish about myself first as if it was me time 24/7. Too many videos I watched made me more understandable about my career as a creator rather than just spectating like everyone else. When I went to expositionary class, I was required to feel more constructively clear though I did my best at it. Now that I am fleshing the positive inside me, I was surprised where it headed off to. I should have seen the best of the best, even the most well-known I already saw as a kid. I loved these reasons why I want to make a comic version of my story I made up four years earlier as a 12th grader. I am so proud of what I have accomplished! It is a dream come true, thank you Jesus!!! Surprisingly, I got a text message saying that I will start an internship again on Friday afternoons starting June 8. Wow, time is going fast.

I am leaving to go to Spokane and Walla Walla with family on summer solstice period beginning tomorrow. I was excited to visit places, but first the links if you are interested in going:
https://www.visitspokane.com
http://www.wallawalla.org

I potentially have to make plans to visit Asheville, NC in summer 2019, but life is short. I have more destinations on my list that I cannot describe to you right now since I am super busy with the things I was suggested to get it done like cleaning up the house and setting up my business to finally run. I have to help my mother to make all of her wishes happen during this time of the year and my reading slump just came back to me after reading The Lady in the Attic by Tara Randel. It has been seven whole school years since Facing the Lions and Eragon combined. I was proud of all of my productive mental work I have accomplished a lot, but my fanfic writing? I suck more at it if I keep going further than wanted, and all the excessive details kept getting me exhausted from happening. With expositionary writing, I should have looked back on the handouts for references dedicated to something other than the story itself in general. I cannot wait to read Assassins and other stuff on my to-do list. What else is new? Church picnic, grandma's birthday, camping trip to Baker Lake, summer BBQ, 7/11 slushie event, passing water bottles to community; nothing is entirely new under the sun as so many people do travel a lot and even some migrate to another country for a new life. Those planning to be lifelong permanent missionaries overseas, bon voyage!

It has been three years already since coming out of high school a year and three days late. I was supposed to graduate on time with bachelor's on June 15 (which is last Friday), so I should have gotten a full-time paid job by now. Man, how lazy and slow I am! Ugh... I don't wanna fall victim to the growing flexible crowd who were already reluctant enough to finish school. They got their lives messed up, and I have it all straightened out. Instead of giving a year to God and Jesus after EWU @ BC commencement, I just wanna spend my last year of college on a very successful courtship with the one I will spend the rest of my entire life with IRL to marry afterward. My homemaking skills were below average since I spent my childhood making cookies every half of the week, did a few sewing projects as an adolescent, and in the last five years of my life were spent loom-knitting over a hundred hats in total. Also, I frequently made popcorn, coffee, and sandwiches. I was required to do chores more than I could ever imagine since I was being told that I was gonna be a mother one day. I feel like I should start doing it diligently as best as I can without some unneeded interruption whereas I was preoccupied with the things I am too attached to. I am more responsible now than I did two to three years earlier, so that makes sense that the lessons I learned made me feel stronger. As an adult, I feel confident to be an independent person. This is who I am.

As a final warning, I thought millennials were born on the following dates 9/1/1981-8/31/2000. But no... I really do not know that I was gonna be the top ender of what was the generation more worse than the past one. 1. We all get sucked into the HSM nonsense as kids. 2. We already have the latest technology since 2012. 3. I do NOT remember 9/11 originally because I was ONLY in kindergarten. I didn't learn about the event until SIXTH grade. You know what is called? iGeneration. Geez... I am so jealous of them very much, they do gonna suck 2 years from now. Those born after 1995 are much more likely to experience mental health issues than their millennial predecessors like echo boomers for example. I do have my permanent mental health issue since I was a tot, so my disability has caused cons more than my peers such as social isolation, lack of eye contact, feeling depressed, and brief suicidal attempts. Otherwise, I was a decent person who was one of the first iGen voters to vote for one of the oldest boomers in the world. I was so thankful I have learned lessons from not only the older people, but also from people who were about the last generation than newly mine according to some sociologists. I will rather pay $77 per month on Patreon services to make some of the Gen Y audience feel better about themselves before it is too late since the latest superhero flicks in the past few years since secondary school are all overrated. No, the last graphic novel I read was volume seven of Saga. That's it! End of story. Recently, I saw Guardians of the Galaxy the entire time, but never have I ever saw the sequel before because I was somehow getting caught up with everyone else when it comes to shows and movies. I can't watch Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 without having to read the Heroes of Olympus saga full-time.

*sigh* I do not know what to say any further, so yeah... Thanks for reading, and I will see you next time whether I post. Bye!

Am I Wrong?

Myth: today's youth group attenders are tomorrow's church leaders.
Reality: today's youth group attenders are tomorrow's unchurched.
Teenagers may be attending church events today, but they have little inclination to do so in the future.

That is very sad... plus chances are a third of gen y were actually "unchurched" as I looked up today's stats on the Internet. Don't you believe it? I have survived attendance in youth group! The last time I was there was playing Mario Kart on Switch in the game truck and then we get to hear the sermon about our identities in Christ. What changed to me was transforming from an ambitious musician to becoming a very virtuous mother one day. I don't think I am counted toward the unchurched future, though it seems bleak in my opinion. I am trying to hold still against the tide of the current before I have to question everything, and attempting to be a church leader for the young adults were very slim. It was very brief when they kept requesting me what to do and it is tiring me out sometimes. I heard speakers being concerned about the timing before in school, church, and online combined. Yes, I am not so great at speaking for an hour length, but I could preach full-steam ahead for as much as I thought it would, timewise it will take me up to a few hours at the maximum point. This makes me feel exhausted, but my brain is not so tired. I have more depth of thought than anyone could imagine and I am mentally throwing up more words being typed on a screen now. That is why I am a good intelligent person who knew better than that. My time will resume on summer solstice period.

Guess what happened after I left the youth group? I do NOT come out of the cult. Instead, I ended up in the main service with the older adults from their mid 30s up to 85ish. The maximum age was specifically 108 previously, and now I'm like what happened? Did it bend itself up? There was a curve going up and down yet to come! From what I experienced so far is they keep reacting to every other part of a sermon whether in shock, laughter, agreement, or praise! It is like a killer slant to my soul!!! Is it serious? C'mon what are you waiting for? Listen first and then you do the job yourselves. That is simple, try it! I do nod sometimes not in public since it is more of a humble reaction than that. Too many bulletin programs pile up one after another, and it is loading up more space at home. I am sick and tired of taking one home with me every week. I know what the events are coming up and I hear them!!! Agh! Those are the things I may not be attending due to schoolwork and whatnot. Sorry! It is not going to happen. I have to do it my own way like think outside the box. I have taken messages for a week and a half now, and yes: this is many times better than sitting around and doing nothing all week while waiting for the next sermon. It is called my warming up period in order to be prepared for Simone's commencement ceremony. I tried looking forward to Holy Week and I was so close to making out of the tunnel. It extended up to no point of reaching the other end and I am doomed now. As soon as I had my plan figured out because the last video of the road to revival wasn't there on the net, I wanted to get out into the field of bliss on time and never have to go back again. I am going to be free from my burden! So long, unwanted tasks! I have eighteen entries of my dark purple devo left to go and continuing God Calling onward on a daily basis for a year. The problem? I have to read Proverbs again for a week. Good news? I made it 16 chapters and 15 more to go. That is what I want to do right now because it is Wednesday, May 16. Five weeks left until we have to start Shepherd of the Hills. I cannot wait for summertime! Oh yeah!

Update As of 6/26/2017

I now have a new smartphone in my hands. It's official! I can type on the go, so I don't have to wait any longer for an available computer in the usual desktop form. Thanks!!!

What Will Become of Them

I heard that some things I have known back in high school have come to a close, and it seems likely that people move on with their lives. I am telling you: they grew up so fast, they just left me behind. I know some people are into superheroes, sci-fi, and fantasy while others are into long-term current issues we have been shoved down our throats the past five decades since the counterculture revolution. Some have families now and others are indifferent but changed maturely from scratch. Stats have changed surprisingly for relevant reasons. From the time I have entered the Internet with real accounts, I was nothing but a late technological bloomer at 17 as a rising high school senior. When I am 22 and as a college student, I had the goodbyes to beloved parts I knew and cherished a few years earlier. The YA trend in movies came to a close with The Death Cure and I know all of the terrible infamousity I had in mind ends shortly afterward. Man! It was a long 12 years and two weeks of a horrible and painful, cringeworthy endurance to survive from start of something new to finally freed. I mean we, the high school class of 2014 went from East Wildcat tweeny preps to junior high Twihards to high school blood cat demons to college dominatrixes. Thank goodness, it is almost my turn now to shine as soon as we get out of college! I have a better story to tell. Something worth more than no actual plotline...

On the end note, there are more adventures to come, and I am so excited for the meetups of my own once when I had enough money to keep my own group maintained from falling. In other meetings, I would join on occasion since time was pretty much hasty for me. With discovering the nations on hold, I could take my time learning more about other countries via travel shows from the public station to get a bit of my writer research for locations. I am becoming more mature than I did from the establishment of this website, and still growing... one day I will visit the Emerald City Comic Con for my own panel. Lots of plans are still going on in my life, and I am trying to have more experiences as often as possible, but my parents won't let me. We will never know when will time tell itself... it depends on my determination.

From what I was trying to recognize is that new beginnings are starting to arise within the new year, and I am starting to realize this. Surrounded by so many losses, we do remember Daniel McCandless (I don't remember his last name properly - but one of the first to be added to the tributes section for the calendar year), Zellie (my dog), Billy Graham, the 17 victims of Douglasmen High including Aaron Fries, and more. That morning on Pi Day, we lost Stephen Hawkings. What I read from one of the blogs I subscribed to, the narrator said that she lost a high school friend and someone else in the month of February. Life changes... things have switched. This is just nothing but a long-term tragic start, and I'm having like 17 days of silence after the last words in the past year (sorry, it is two months and a day late to be honest): "Skye" and "Laura". Those were the names of the girls I newly kept that in mind, and I seriously missed out on creating and slaying resolutions in the month of January alone due to so much capable ignorance. Minor things were added to my life: disciplining myself financially and eating more nuts. What subtracted from my entire daily routine in January was a relationship with an animal in real life. The next morning, I missed The Broke and The Bookish so very much, they were such a good blog to me and I have learned the growing list of books that has to be read. It was too long for me to deal with, so that is why I liked the cover designs and everything. It has been five years since I first visited the website.

Before I go, I just started the year of peace after Easter. Man, it is a slow start all without some state of the union to begin with and there is more busyness of homework to do. Finally, after Good Friday, I officially counted down the days until Simone's graduation once again. Never lose track of time again! How did I do that? I figured out plans from May 6 and onward. I now accomplished 3 note-taking days and I still need 23 left to go besides Hope and Who Needs God Anyway?: the antipenultimate and penultimate messages to MAHA before Simone graduates. I have to make sure to do whatever else I can all throughout the rest of this school year, so... no rush, folks. I will be back after June 18.

What Am I Really Thinking What I Am Vaguely Thinking About?

Here is something I have revealed I was thinking about when it comes to the very brief igniting moments in mind, but died out as quickly as possible and being stuck of trying to revive the moment to life.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ma_(negative_space)
http://archive.is/4hsuR

In Memoriam...

R.I.P. Zellie

(10/2/2003-1/11/2018)

Beloved pet dog
Forever in our hearts

Am I a competent communicator?

Introduction
At this special presentation, I am going to talk about the crossover between the textbook itself Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication by Ronald B. Alder with collaboration by Lawrence B. Rosenfeld and Russell F. Proctor II in its thirteenth edition as of 2015 and my life being merged together into one whole entire project. The questions are: what concepts did I learn in this quarter that were the most significant for me, what were my communication strengths, what were the special communication challenges I struggle with, and what will I do to overcome/mitigate those challenges. These are tough to answer in my unique perspective, so with that... let me answer them all real quick first thing.

The Main Body

1. What concepts did I learn in this quarter that were the most significant for me?
• One of the concepts I learned in this quarter that were the most significant for me was culture. Previously, in leadership class, we have understood the difference between individualistic and collectivist cultures ("one culture in which people view their primary responsibility as helping themselves and the other culture whose members feel loyalties and obligations to an in-group, such as an extended family, a community, and even a work organization") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 45). Now that I have reviewed it, I was more of a context-neutral person whose religion was somewhat collective. I have belonged to the achievement culture ("a culture that places a high value on the achievement of material success and a focus on the task at hand") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 48) where the American Dream was supposed to be fulfilled in the young adult years and up, yet their "to-do" lists never stop growing; however, in my household and religion, their important agenda was more of a nurturing cult where we were supposed to stop with the busyness and be thankful for everyday (the definition was "a culture that regards the support of relationships as an especially important goal") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 48). When it comes to authority, we have to respect every single high power; on the contrary, people were created equal. Uncertainty avoidance ("the tendency of a culture's members to feel threatened by ambiguous situations, and how much they try to avoid them") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 47) was common sometimes and in other times they were questionable. The co-cultures ("groups within encompassing cultures with a perceived identity") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 39) have influenced us who we truly are as individuals. My identity for instance is this: I am an almost 22-year old Hispanic-Caucasian heterosexual American Washingtonian autistic conservative broke contemporary evangelical Christian journalist whose career was full-time student with the self-employment of making clothes to sell. I grew up with the familiar language known as American English. During my childhood, I had struggled with learning new languages until senior year of high school where I learned ASL in general. Verbally, my second language was unofficial for now until later.
• The topic before that was the interpersonal process. I am not a perfect communicator, but I had found the transactional communication model (the model of the "dynamic process in which communicators create meaning together via interacting with each other") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 10, 13) attractive because I thought, "Sure I am gonna use it in case it's necessary to have it as a cover of my 'to-say' list." It's like e-mail except we were required to use the face-to-face interaction often because it would increase the chance of satisfaction. (Alder et al., 2015 p. 7) I think I have done it enough with one person for a term, but I might with another in the next one or two. This has caused me to take a break from Internet time and stick to the social gatherings. I have done one coffee talk with an old friend and some group studying with a new friend and/or a familiar acquaintance. The social media aspect was the new norm these days, and it seems people were addicted to it.
2. What were my communication strengths (at least 3)?
• My communication strengths are the following: 1. Nonverbal communication was strong when I saw others doing it and it happened ever since then from the beginning and onward. Although I have seen images more than the words, I have reactions sometimes to whatever could go on. I noticed the emoticons since late elementary, and sometimes I found it annoying and distracting when it comes to actual reading. Otherwise, I ended up typing up with "=)" on my old phone. In the new phone, the emoticons were better and it was somehow more limited than the iPhone version in which half of its users had. I was mostly happy, but in my early college years, I did have the mood swings. At the end, at least right now, I am getting really exhausted from all of the hard work well done. 2. Verbal communication (or language) was necessary in "human communication" (Alder et al., 2015 p. 140). I think it made sense when I was reading, but in speech it was okay. When I was listening to people talk, I realized the volume was too soft for my ears. If there weren't more people around, I am trying to understand what they were saying. Topics were at random, and the usual part shows up sometimes for a half hour. That was excerpted from the verbal communication assignment I have experimented with. The naming part reminded me of picking out names I have selected for my original characters from the large name book (and later, "Behind the Name" on the internet). I am good at using the "I" pronoun, but I have to get better at reducing the "we" language in the future. (p. 161 for table) 3. Listening was normal to me right now, for I was proud of my journaling in the past seven and a half years when it comes to taking notes during the lessons and other occasional serious podcasts all of the time, yet I don't pay attention to the speaker. In class, they said you have to really listen and not write anything. In contrast, stats show that "11.4% of the overall communication activities was writing". (Alder et al., 2015 p. 205) I was internally afraid I might lose focus and not get any specific instructions unless I have to ask, "What did you say? Could you please repeat after me?" Sometimes, people were rushed ahead of me and I have to catch up with the notes. The problem between the two was pacing of speech. In task-oriented listening ("a listening style that is primarily concerned with efficiency") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 208) from teachers and instructors, we were supposed to plan on doing assignments on our planners since elementary school as I knew it. I wrote down what I was supposed to do early on, but my mind just reminded itself and it told me what to do in the later times. My challenge of listening was the noise because I was affected by it big time and it was therefore indeed a norm for most if not some people. Growing up, the television was on all the time. Now, other sources have gone activated at the time from the start of day to finish. I don't pay attention to sports radio since it was always my dad's turn and I never got the chance to do my music (which was either 91.3 FM or 98.1 FM (95.7 FM per weekends)). Man, I was bombarded by television advertisements, which went on and on and on forever and ever. I could at least stop it from happening and enjoy myself reading a book. When I was younger, I used to daydream all the time about my own stories. Today, I'm like stuck in the middle of the road, not knowing what next since NaNoWriMo came and went. In terms of listening responses, I was more of a silent listener (the one who "stood attentive and nonverbally responsive without verbal feedback") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 217) ever since I was a kid.
3. What were the special communication challenges I struggle with (2-3)?
• The special communication challenges I struggle with and are facing now as of the following: 1. Managing the conflict. I was more of an avoider (a person who ignores conflict) (Alder et al., 2015 p. 372-373) than does a collaborator (the one who wanted the best for everyone) (Alder et al., 2015 p. 377-378) during my growing up years because I want to let everyone else do with their own busyness and I knew I have worked hard constantly. Never have I ever paid attention to the conflicts because they were like one huge issue in my life and no resolution was necessary due to its negativity. Sometimes, it can be positive when it comes to constructive competition during games and contests. Aside that, I have accommodations a lot because everyone's doing it and I certainly don't stand up, for example: Mom told me I'd rather do what she requests rather than having to deal with my own plans. In other words, it was a "lose-win situation". (p. 373-374) 2. I have issues with dynamics of interpersonal relationships. We were so bombarded by the media, everything is nothing but all fluff! In real-life, it is not all sunshine, laugh tracks, shiny colors, lollipops, and rainbows, it's serious, tragic, complex, and bleak. I tried talking to more friends, but it was all but a few at a time and sometimes I forget names of random strangers. I was supposed to come together just to initiate and go "for common ground" (Alder et al., 2015 p. 279) before aiming for close friendships. I have yearned for it, but in an outing someday, I was gonna have two chaperones aged eighteen and older. In the end, when people depart from me especially at the close of every academic year while in high school and college, I never get to see them again unless they were on Facebook. Sometimes, I cross paths with anyone who was familiar with me.
4. What will I do to overcome/mitigate those challenges?
• To overcome/mitigate those challenges, I have to work on the collaboration skills so badly, even though I don't seem to fit in with the workforce crowd. I had tried to become assertive and not just silently passive, for I would be open to more types of conflict management.
• I will come up with a list of questions all searched out from the Internet for a sample to try out during conversations and hopefully will do my best at it.

Conclusion

I was a competent communicator when I have the time for relational gatherings in people, but in this task-oriented society, my resolution was to stop whatever I was doing individually since I know I have read most of the textbook and I could see others interacting inside my mind as if I thought about them. It's not about me unless it was necessary when it comes to assignments and this project that was about to be done. My goal in the long run: I have to always improve relationships in the near and distant future due to the reason that I have to find Mr. Right in a few years to come. All in all, that sums up the merge between the textbook about interpersonal communications and my entire life.

Works Cited

Alder, Ronald B. et al. Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication. New York City: Oxford University Press, 2015. Print. 13th Edition.

SPECIAL: It Has Been 1 Year Since I Was Saved From the Monotonous Norm Called Drama and All Talk

Thank goodness I have 50% of the progress through Into Thin Air one year ago when the clock struck midnight after an hour of rest. I am so glad with last year's results, it was nothing but a story come true in my life. I was prepared for my single years based on the advent calendar, so it was like a chapter per calendar year plus 20 days. Here I was being eager to know the truth of what was to come, even though I already started the Left Behind series in chronological order. I thought this is gonna be a challenge in one sitting, but then again I was put off the line due to my busyness going on. Sorry about the delays! I tried my best to learn and grow during the Trump era. I would have gotten caught up with the writing, which I believed was too long of a deal for myself. Otherwise, life doesn't have to be the way it was initially planned out from my mind; at least my parents have expected me to be different from my thinking. I am a somewhat better person right now than I was yesteryear.

Ten Halloween Things I’ve Never Done

1. I don't read Twilight

• It sucks!

2. I never watched the Halloweentown saga

• I would've loved it when it first came out, but nope... it's due to my religious reasons.

3. I never had any costumish lingerie

• I wish I'd own a wolfish one from Yancy (but only if I have black leggings and camisole)
• If I had a blonde twin sister, she can have a sinful bunny one.

4. I never saw the horror film the entire time

• I've seen parts of it for a bit and they look cheesy at worst (until I saw Krampus)

5. I don't view Wizards of Waverly Place

• It was much worse than Harry Potter (I only read the first book ten years ago and the character descriptions were ugly)!

6. I never read or watched The Golden Compass

• I thought it was a holiday film for kids six and up. Ugh! I never get to do anything by Pullman.

7. We never did the dinner party.

• We are getting close to my sister's high school graduation (7.5 months from now) and this is gonna be one feast next year!
• Don't mind the colors grey, black, and white.
• Plus squid pasta and shrimp with salad and fun drinks to enjoy

8. I never drank hard apple cider from Angry Orchard

• I saw the ads on cable (used to due to my genius personality) and I wanna try it since I'm 21

9. I DNF That's So Raven

• It drags on and on and on and we didn't get to finish by the time we were in Oregon
• I will never get to watch it due to Disney having the streaming service of its own in a year or two (not signing up ever, sorry).

10. I never joined the Thriller Mob

• I heard of the song and we did a dance in a homecoming party, but outside in the open in broad sunlight? Eh... why the heck not?!

Part of the Broke and Bookish (instead of costume, there are the experiences never done in my life)

The Year of Hope: What I Have Changed So Far

It has been a wonderful nine months since the year of hope began. Look how time flew by very quickly! I went from careless emo who had no responsibility for realistic timing to cautious leader with a schedule planned out for myself. I had a good time, though the troubles had come. I felt very content and blessed.

Late Summer Announcement!!!

My blog just turned 4 today, so it was the fourth anniversary day! Happy anniversary and look how time flew by from a carefree 17-year old to a more intelligent 21-year old. I am getting better at writing everyday, though it has been a long time since my last post. Anyways: I have officially completed chapter 20 of my fanfic and I need a bit of revisions since this is getting a bit over the top and I just can't control my mind like crazy. I am losing it over the summer!!! Oh, man... what am I going to do? Editing! That could happen. School is resuming in 20 days... I can feel it as I am going to get back on schedule, folks. Good day!

What do you miss most about being a kid during summer break?

Being a kid during summer break, I missed about going on camp trips, plane rides, swimming lessons (I lack them as we get older), the playground, being out in the small backyard, and hopefully vacation bible school (we missed them in 2008 and 2009 and always will when married) because I'm getting sick of them since I WANT a full-time summer job out-of-state. Last year was the first summer break we really did NOT take due to grandma starting to age slowly in nearly a year and counting (we ended up having a stamp job). I don't miss the sunshine and the frequent rain (we live in Washington State) at all. The last time we'd seen a wedding was back in 2010, yet I spent the teen-aged life on losses and funerals from the year 2009 and up and yearly graduations since 2012 - we had witnessed four suicides, for the last one was back at the end of January 2017 - everyone will be missed by all of one another. The next wedding day will be mine and MINE ALONE!!! There is just nothing more than courtship prior to this. I wish we want summer all year long and also I want to homeschool the kids from K-12, so that way they could have their longest summer vacation ever until school starts for the first time when they were EIGHTEEN. I prefer going to Florida instead because why the heck not.

Forever

How can I never forget the time I saw the world?

The realm outside the urban zone is like an ambient adventure.

I remember my long recovery from drama over the months' span,

It was very important to know all about things outside the fiction.

I sorta outgrew my nostalgic life as a nerd because...

Let's face it: I am not worthy to be known as shadhardblogger or whatevs.

Planet Trump? Anyone Want Some?

I declare Communications as a major in the middle of last night's speech because I trained to journal nearly seven years in the making before the past forty days of my life. I am super proud of my global studies that I have done for twenty-eight days straight despite me waiting and catching up until the point of no return while I procrastinated to do some other things. Yeah, I am one super busy girl, okay. I'm putting my plans into action, so it's really necessary to work on as I try to be better at becoming more diligent in all of the successes to go through the flow of my productivity. Although I fixed my problems alright before the end of the past month, I truly feel confident and satisfied with what I already have. March was going to be the best month of my life as of yet - really better than February and as a bit of the best of January - taking up most of the Lent season to leave the last third for the first half of April. Today is my seventh anniversary of the new beginning: putting the nail stickers on the days via devotions that led me to have a hobby to journal whatever I want, for as long as newer things really opened the doors wide open. My possible career track was to be a journalist, but I don't want to risk it because my minor will be under creative writing. It's possible for me to transfer over to UW in Bothell, yet I prefer the real one - you know Seattle - where I want to expand newer horizons to my college experience and graduate extremely hard to get a high-paying job well done in order to be super famous one day. This is what I'm going to do right now!

Before November 8, 2016, I was stuck and still don't understand on what to do after college, but feel forced to do either Provail or the DSHS system. I feel hopeless in one area... I was undeclared back then. Being pointless and depressed made me want to escape reality for inner worlds of others, yet I made the situations worse and it was all of my fault to make mistakes in spring 2016. I feel very ashamed of myself for being too stupid. I understand the consequences and I went through it in order to accept the lessons to be learned.

Many weeks later, I felt truly happy and am so excited to journal outside the usual messages I hear either every other day or on Sundays. I planned to write a book; however, I did more longer entries in the year than expected on several journals. I bought so many beautiful gifts for loved ones everywhere by far - first of all, I sent my aunt and grandma cards; second, I sent my sister lotion, body wash, and two more candles to last long; third, I wrapped up the candles in gift wrapping paper to give to mom on her birthday because she loves the smell of berries when it comes to scented things; fourth, my dad enjoyed lemon meringue pie I'll give him a sample of the lemon sicilian candle for his birthday and I'll give my parents a bigger one for each special day - both Mother's and Father's - to make them feel happy; and finally, my other sister still needs sketchbooks and art pencils for her birthday which I still want to get to make her feel proud when she opened up her presents - I would be generous in the end, as if it's just enough.

To sum up this post, I've read 61 chapters of the Left Behind series so far. I'll write to you soon by Easter. Goodbye!

Freebie: 10 to Try Challenge 2017

1. book by an author of color: Beloved by Toni Morrison
2. graphic novel/comic book: Saga Art by Fiona Staples; Written by Brian K. Vaughan
3. a book from new-to-you genre: cozy mystery - A Lady in the Attic by Tara Randel
4. a collection of short stories/essays: The Working Poor: Invisible in America by David K. Shipler
5. STEM: What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions
Book by Randall Munroe
6. book published since 1942: 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
7. audiobook: either anything by Wm. Paul Young or not
8. recommended online: This Adventure Ends by Emma Mills (for 2016 best cover from Howdy YAL!)
9. debut: The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
10. book by the PNWA author: The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

What's your to-do list? Please let us know in the comments.

Presidents' Day is All Upon Us!!!

Just a Quick Note to You Readers

Hi, everyone. I have some important news: I'm not going to be on the Internet for the weekend because I'll have a vacation to do. Please be patient until I can come back by Monday or so. Thank you for the reminders! See you real soon. Bye!

Morning in The Economist

Yesterday, I haven't done any reading lately except for the syllabuses for English class. And today, I was very introduced to experience it for the first time in my life. Two of the five articles I've read had dealt with the Brexit. Remember that picture?

I wonder if I studied economics enough, at least it coincidences with business during leadership. I need to find out more of what else is exactly new to me for as long as it is updated and running for the week starting on Monday, January 23, 2017. Anyways, I'm keeping myself sane from all of the annoying cliches I've read in Amazon reviews and other online comments. Toodles, and see you on Epiphany Eve!

Another Day, Another...What Have You Done, Ms. Nat?

Yesterday, it turned out that Viviana Ivinisova had a variety of nicknames picked out by two authors of the same book. I realized that she belonged to many spirits, so the religion was made up of certain things from wizardry. Marilena was indeed the second Chosen One by the LORD who will make her want to have her wish granted: to have children, yet Sorin is indeed not that interested in impregnating her. Marilena went from being agnostic to somewhat playing Christian, but sought further knowledge in order to stop questioning things. Viv had a somewhat strong background in unknown spirits since childhood, although in the growing up years her original country called Soviet Union had fallen and the name had changed to the original state (Russia). Her family lived in Romania. I don't know specifically what Romania is like, so it must've been some foreign country where my aunt picked up a boy for adoption in the early 1990s. While I read The Rising, I was culturally open-minded to Romania, for I wonder what were the name terms were like if I look up on Google or either Wikipedia if it needs more specification. New characters were introduced: they were Baruda and his wife; Ian who did the Romans Road like my father did last summer. When the wish was finally accepted, Marilena went to the genetic engineering building and there the two DNAs were consisted of higher IQs, so the pregnancy was easy. She did not divorce Sorin until after the baby was born, yet there were surprise twists and turns: Baruda's wife committed suicide, and that Baruda was welcomed to "the safe space full of horizontal flying six colors" aka LGBTQ+ community, so he was identified as gay, for he and Sorin were married. Marilena was resigned by the four month mark at the end of the semester, so she can kick out of the apartment and move to the cottage in Cuj. Viv showed up and supported Marilena. The time came for Marilena's baby to be born when she and Viv were taken to the hospital with the mouse in the cage, and then Nicolae Jetty was born while the mouse had been slitted the throat by the knife from Viv.

Meanwhile, Ray had a plan that when he was 13, he worked on the machines in his father's place to make money for flying lessons by next year. As he grew older, he had some acne problems and went really more clumsy than athletic. I know he's a laughing stock, but his spiritual life hadn't changed a bit - he's tuned out of service.

Back in Romania, Nicolae was like any other children except he's more of a genius with curiosity than ever, so he got into everything as a toddler like everyone else. When he got bigger a bit, he knew requirements for life and developed hobbies - he read in nearly every language Marilena and Viv knew about, did some computer skills in six months before being proficient, rode a pony and played soccer. When he was six, he's starting public school by the end of the summer.

In review, I wanted my first son to have a middle name Nicolae because it's cool-fitting for my liking. I've read twelve chapters into the series by far, so I'm very happy and grateful for a head start into my 2017 resolution reading walk-through challenge with the Left Behind series. I can't wait to see how he turns out when he's older.

2017: The Year of My Left Behind Challenge

Yesterday, I called it a devotional day, so I have to at least do it again. The vision for this year was Decisions and Destiny, yet I made up a goal to read the entire walkthrough of the Left Behind series. Prior to this, we're going back to the actual beginning of my journal life. In 2010, I was all self-centered and egotistical while reflecting at the same time. When 2011 came along, I read the entire walkthrough of the "radio edit version" attached to my old school pink Bible. 2012: I read the Gospels four times. 2013: I did Expect the Unexpected. 2014 is a year I supposedly graduated high school, so I literally started taking the Internet for seriousness. By then, I enjoyed LPs and fanfiction in my late teens since they were my thing. 2015: things start to pick a pace at some point over the summer, so in the end, I decided to make a reflective book based on Genesis. 2016 is probably one of my low points by far in this decade. Everyone else has time to read Scripture, but I don't. I kept failing apart, and that's what the Internet addiction had such a heavy burden on me, so I stopped watching LPs because they're too long and fanfiction editing is taking forever to upload. Ugh! Epic fail...

Plus the fun part of the past year: knowing that Trump won made me want to write a memoir about my adult chronicles. And now, here I am: one day had passed and a new one begins anew. While I read the first 66 pages of The Rising, I was related to Marilena except she's more experienced in literature than I do, and that's fine. I understand that I read Why I Read - the author gave me a list of 100 books and I shared it to Tumblr while I made up my own list of books for leisure. I had so many connections to my life on a variety full of levels next to The Curious Incident of a Dog in the Night-Time, I wish I was desperate enough to have a child like Marilena did. It was more likely being either next to my lifetime wish, or it's just one of the plot elements why I want to write a sequel to Incendiary. At one time, in 2015, I had a library meeting of Mind Matters. The topic was focused on the aging, so I had a long life ahead especially if I need to make my next 49 years of life a reality. According to Wait But Why, it's 90 years. I made up a chart of Harper Lee's life last year, and she's darn close to being 90 when she passed on. This year, I want to make two more charts: one for Carrie and another for Debbie. Marilena and her Classical Literature professor Sorin had more meetings, and look who's there: Ms. Viviana Ivinisova had appeared in classy fashion. She showed up to meditate others into communicating with spirits and whatnot because if I think she's insane, then she can't be crazy enough due to her open-mindedness. I learned religions other than Christianity: first the Jewish, then the others: Hinduism, Buddhism, Muslim and atheism/agnosticism. I've read them in Life of Pi. Meanwhile, Ray and Bobby were friends at grade school, even though they enjoyed soccer and other things the boys had done except... Ray just played Christian over and over, and Bobby's really serious about being an Evangelist/fundamentalist, he wants to take full-time in ministry when he grows up. Ray wants to be either a pro-athlete or a pilot. I had strong feelings toward my spiritual life about this issue, although Central Church was probably commercialized with pictures of God and Jesus. My advice to the family of Central: do the cross instead. My own was very simplistic but small: we had free coffee on the way to sanctuary and the after-service had cheap knock-off cookies like the usual. Sometimes, we had cake. On Mother's Day, the men in aprons serve tea, and we had sandwiches, fruit and veggies, and souvenir-like gifts on the way out. Before Mother's Day, one of the staff members were like "Bring in your mothers with you." And then, old people showed up, and they keep coming over the years, although some people do brought them in for visits. Specifically, my own mother meanwhile was downstairs, but sometimes she stayed upstairs. Father's Day used to be a whole thing for grandfathers until 2009 when they all died. In 2010 onward, Dad was exclusively honored. A few years later, by that, we meant betrayal and not being condemned. Mother's Day should've been called Women's Day and Father's Day a Men's Day. In 2017, I would like to call it my day because I'm 21 soon. I should've wished Mom, my aunts and grandma a wonderful Women's Day. For now, things went off to a good start.