Introduction
At this special presentation, I am going to talk about the crossover between the textbook itself Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication by Ronald B. Alder with collaboration by Lawrence B. Rosenfeld and Russell F. Proctor II in its thirteenth edition as of 2015 and my life being merged together into one whole entire project. The questions are: what concepts did I learn in this quarter that were the most significant for me, what were my communication strengths, what were the special communication challenges I struggle with, and what will I do to overcome/mitigate those challenges. These are tough to answer in my unique perspective, so with that... let me answer them all real quick first thing.
At this special presentation, I am going to talk about the crossover between the textbook itself Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication by Ronald B. Alder with collaboration by Lawrence B. Rosenfeld and Russell F. Proctor II in its thirteenth edition as of 2015 and my life being merged together into one whole entire project. The questions are: what concepts did I learn in this quarter that were the most significant for me, what were my communication strengths, what were the special communication challenges I struggle with, and what will I do to overcome/mitigate those challenges. These are tough to answer in my unique perspective, so with that... let me answer them all real quick first thing.
The Main Body
- What concepts did I learn in this quarter that were the most significant for me?
- One of the concepts I learned in this quarter that were the most significant for me was culture. Previously, in leadership class, we have understood the difference between individualistic and collectivist cultures ("one culture in which people view their primary responsibility as helping themselves and the other culture whose members feel loyalties and obligations to an in-group, such as an extended family, a community, and even a work organization") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 45). Now that I have reviewed it, I was more of a context-neutral person whose religion was somewhat collective. I have belonged to the achievement culture ("a culture that places a high value on the achievement of material success and a focus on the task at hand") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 48) where the American Dream was supposed to be fulfilled in the young adult years and up, yet their "to-do" lists never stop growing; however, in my household and religion, their important agenda was more of a nurturing cult where we were supposed to stop with the busyness and be thankful for everyday (the definition was "a culture that regards the support of relationships as an especially important goal") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 48). When it comes to authority, we have to respect every single high power; on the contrary, people were created equal. Uncertainty avoidance ("the tendency of a culture's members to feel threatened by ambiguous situations, and how much they try to avoid them") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 47) was common sometimes and in other times they were questionable. The co-cultures ("groups within encompassing cultures with a perceived identity") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 39) have influenced us who we truly are as individuals. My identity for instance is this: I am an almost 22-year old Hispanic-Caucasian heterosexual American Washingtonian autistic conservative broke contemporary evangelical Christian journalist whose career was full-time student with the self-employment of making clothes to sell. I grew up with the familiar language known as American English. During my childhood, I had struggled with learning new languages until senior year of high school where I learned ASL in general. Verbally, my second language was unofficial for now until later.
- The topic before that was the interpersonal process. I am not a perfect communicator, but I had found the transactional communication model (the model of the "dynamic process in which communicators create meaning together via interacting with each other") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 10, 13) attractive because I thought, "Sure I am gonna use it in case it's necessary to have it as a cover of my 'to-say' list." It's like e-mail except we were required to use the face-to-face interaction often because it would increase the chance of satisfaction. (Alder et al., 2015 p. 7) I think I have done it enough with one person for a term, but I might with another in the next one or two. This has caused me to take a break from Internet time and stick to the social gatherings. I have done one coffee talk with an old friend and some group studying with a new friend and/or a familiar acquaintance. The social media aspect was the new norm these days, and it seems people were addicted to it.
- What were my communication strengths (at least 3)?
- My communication strengths are the following: 1. Nonverbal communication was strong when I saw others doing it and it happened ever since then from the beginning and onward. Although I have seen images more than the words, I have reactions sometimes to whatever could go on. I noticed the emoticons since late elementary, and sometimes I found it annoying and distracting when it comes to actual reading. Otherwise, I ended up typing up with "=)" on my old phone. In the new phone, the emoticons were better and it was somehow more limited than the iPhone version in which half of its users had. I was mostly happy, but in my early college years, I did have the mood swings. At the end, at least right now, I am getting really exhausted from all of the hard work well done. 2. Verbal communication (or language) was necessary in "human communication" (Alder et al., 2015 p. 140). I think it made sense when I was reading, but in speech it was okay. When I was listening to people talk, I realized the volume was too soft for my ears. If there weren't more people around, I am trying to understand what they were saying. Topics were at random, and the usual part shows up sometimes for a half hour. That was excerpted from the verbal communication assignment I have experimented with. The naming part reminded me of picking out names I have selected for my original characters from the large name book (and later, "Behind the Name" on the internet). I am good at using the "I" pronoun, but I have to get better at reducing the "we" language in the future. (p. 161 for table) 3. Listening was normal to me right now, for I was proud of my journaling in the past seven and a half years when it comes to taking notes during the lessons and other occasional serious podcasts all of the time, yet I don't pay attention to the speaker. In class, they said you have to really listen and not write anything. In contrast, stats show that "11.4% of the overall communication activities was writing". (Alder et al., 2015 p. 205) I was internally afraid I might lose focus and not get any specific instructions unless I have to ask, "What did you say? Could you please repeat after me?" Sometimes, people were rushed ahead of me and I have to catch up with the notes. The problem between the two was pacing of speech. In task-oriented listening ("a listening style that is primarily concerned with efficiency") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 208) from teachers and instructors, we were supposed to plan on doing assignments on our planners since elementary school as I knew it. I wrote down what I was supposed to do early on, but my mind just reminded itself and it told me what to do in the later times. My challenge of listening was the noise because I was affected by it big time and it was therefore indeed a norm for most if not some people. Growing up, the television was on all the time. Now, other sources have gone activated at the time from the start of day to finish. I don't pay attention to sports radio since it was always my dad's turn and I never got the chance to do my music (which was either 91.3 FM or 98.1 FM (95.7 FM per weekends)). Man, I was bombarded by television advertisements, which went on and on and on forever and ever. I could at least stop it from happening and enjoy myself reading a book. When I was younger, I used to daydream all the time about my own stories. Today, I'm like stuck in the middle of the road, not knowing what next since NaNoWriMo came and went. In terms of listening responses, I was more of a silent listener (the one who "stood attentive and nonverbally responsive without verbal feedback") (Alder et al., 2015 p. 217) ever since I was a kid.
- What were the special communication challenges I struggle with (2-3)?
- The special communication challenges I struggle with and are facing now as of the following: 1. Managing the conflict. I was more of an avoider (a person who ignores conflict) (Alder et al., 2015 p. 372-373) than does a collaborator (the one who wanted the best for everyone) (Alder et al., 2015 p. 377-378) during my growing up years because I want to let everyone else do with their own busyness and I knew I have worked hard constantly. Never have I ever paid attention to the conflicts because they were like one huge issue in my life and no resolution was necessary due to its negativity. Sometimes, it can be positive when it comes to constructive competition during games and contests. Aside that, I have accommodations a lot because everyone's doing it and I certainly don't stand up, for example: Mom told me I'd rather do what she requests rather than having to deal with my own plans. In other words, it was a "lose-win situation". (p. 373-374) 2. I have issues with dynamics of interpersonal relationships. We were so bombarded by the media, everything is nothing but all fluff! In real-life, it is not all sunshine, laugh tracks, shiny colors, lollipops, and rainbows, it's serious, tragic, complex, and bleak. I tried talking to more friends, but it was all but a few at a time and sometimes I forget names of random strangers. I was supposed to come together just to initiate and go "for common ground" (Alder et al., 2015 p. 279) before aiming for close friendships. I have yearned for it, but in an outing someday, I was gonna have two chaperones aged eighteen and older. In the end, when people depart from me especially at the close of every academic year while in high school and college, I never get to see them again unless they were on Facebook. Sometimes, I cross paths with anyone who was familiar with me.
- What will I do to overcome/mitigate those challenges?
- To overcome/mitigate those challenges, I have to work on the collaboration skills so badly, even though I don't seem to fit in with the workforce crowd. I had tried to become assertive and not just silently passive, for I would be open to more types of conflict management.
- I will come up with a list of questions all searched out from the Internet for a sample to try out during conversations and hopefully will do my best at it.
I was a competent communicator when I have the time for relational gatherings in people, but in this task-oriented society, my resolution was to stop whatever I was doing individually since I know I have read most of the textbook and I could see others interacting inside my mind as if I thought about them. It's not about me unless it was necessary when it comes to assignments and this project that was about to be done. My goal in the long run: I have to always improve relationships in the near and distant future due to the reason that I have to find Mr. Right in a few years to come. All in all, that sums up the merge between the textbook about interpersonal communications and my entire life.
Works Cited
Alder, Ronald B. et al. Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication. New York City: Oxford University Press, 2015. Print. 13th Edition.
